


Because of Pancakes the Movie

by einsKai



Series: Pancakes Universe [2]
Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: Aliens, Alternate Universe - High School, April Fools' Day, Bickering, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Comedy, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, GakuTenn Jesus Kai breaking the bread once again, Humor, M/M, Marriage of Convenience, Pancakes AU, Pets, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Screenplay/Script Format, Trans Rights Bitch, because of Pancakes references, but only partly don't worry, kazoos, memes i guess, space, this is a sequel to because of pancakes of course it would be like this, well obviously duh, what do you mean these tags are random
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-12-30 03:05:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18306917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/einsKai/pseuds/einsKai
Summary: “Tenn, I literally just woke up, I can’t think yet.”“Sometimes I think you can never do that properly.”“Shut up.”“No you shut up and listen. They’re trying to adapt ‘Because of Pancakes’ into a movie, and they want us to help them write a screenplay.”





	Because of Pancakes the Movie

**Author's Note:**

> Can I Get A Pancake? Can I Please Get A Pancake?!
> 
> Yeah, I'm back on my bullshit.
> 
> Please read Because of Pancakes before reading this fic, because it's a sequel.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> \- Kai

”Gaku look at this!“, Tenn called out to his boyfriend.

“I’m sleeping”, Gaku grumbled, and peeled himself out of their shared bed.

“Look, there’s an offer in the mailbox. They want to make a movie out of the book.”

“What book.”

“I may sound like a certain author, but I haven’t written many books, come on.”

“Tenn, I literally just woke up, I can’t think yet.”

“Sometimes I think you can never do that properly.”

“Shut up.”

“No you shut up and listen. They’re trying to adapt ‘Because of Pancakes’ into a movie, and they want us to help them write a screenplay.”

“Who is they?”

“The girl reading this.”

Gaku raised an eyebrow at Tenn.

“What do I know. The movie-people. You sound like an annoying mom, I thought that was Ryuu’s role.”

“Why us?”, Gaku yawned. It was really early – for him at least. And it was a weekend too.

“Because we wrote the thing. Not that anyone believed us when we said that it was non-fiction…”

“You wrote it, I don’t have anything to do with it”, he turned around and pulled the blanket over his head again. “Go meet the movie-people.”

“No, you wrote part of it too. And it was greatly based on your idiotic ideas, that was what made it funny.”

“Yeah I mean. I was the one who came up with all the matchmaking plans, so…”

“That’s why you need to come.”

“Ugh, fine.”

Tenn shook the bed so that Gaku almost fell off. “Then get to it. Drive me.”

“…so that’s what you need me for.”

 

An hour later they were standing in front of the office building where the screenwriters were apparently working on making the book a movie.  
The publisher had supposedly already decided that it was alright, without asking them first, but that was no problem. Neither of them really cared about that book anymore, had never done, but one of their friends, and possibly relatives with striking red hair who loved to read, had told them to write the wild story of them getting their best friend a date (and not exactly being very effective in doing so) down and publish it as a book, because apparently comedy should be a genre more widely represented. So they did that, and were surprisingly successful. But a movie?

“Good morning”, the girl reading this said. No just kidding, but it was one of the aforementioned movie people. “I am ~~the girl reading this~~ Yutaka Miyako, you might know me from my world hit ‘lucky’, in which I starred – you don’t? Well then you should get to know it as quickly as possible.”

She winked, to emphasise that she didn’t mean it in a condescending way.

Tenn liked her. Gaku didn’t. Winking was his job, and fanservice should only be given to fans by him.  
No wait. In this universe he was but a simple Sobaman.

“We’re Tenn, and also Gaku I suppose, the authors of the work in question”, Tenn said and promptly ignored Gaku’s protest at being mentioned so casually. “It’s good to meet you.”

“Thank you”, Miyako said. “We’re looking forward to cooperating with you. Your work is the epitome of what a modern romantic comedy should be, but not exactly suited for a movie.”

They nodded. It was a full length novel, of course there wasn’t going to be a way to just take it as it was and adapt it into a movie.

“But we already decided on the cast, if you want to take a look.”

“That’d be nice.”

“Then follow me please”, the woman said, and the two of them followed her into a room with a projector. She activated, and photos of different people appeared as the slides of a presentation.

“I assume you still know the names of the characters in your book?”, she asked. “It has been quite a few years since the publication.”

“Uh”, Gaku looked at Tenn. His boyfriend looked smug. Of course he’d remember everything with his perfect photographic memory. Geniuses were unfair. “I’d like a crash course.”

“Of course”, Miyako looked through her notes. “The story is about the couple Gaotome Yaku and Tujou Kenn. The two of them have accidentally burned down their apartment–“

“Because of Pancakes”, Tenn added.

“Because of Pancakes”, she said. “The two crash at Runashi Tyuunosuke’s place, that’s their oldest friend from high school. They find out Tyuunosuke-kun had a crush on his classmate Yikaido Namato, and decide to help him.”

She snickered. “ _Help_ him.”

Gaku nodded. He remembered that.

“Okay, so for the four main characters we have decided on the actors from the well-known troupe ‘Wildlife ParkL’, they have already approved of the roles, and will play their part.”

“Wait, ‘Wildlife ParkL’?!”, Gaku got excited all of the sudden. “Like, Stripey, Angery Pupper, Mister Piggy, and Snek?! Those actors?”

“Indeed. We have decided to let Angery Pupper act as Gaotome Yaku, and Mister Piggy will be Tujou Kenn. Snek will be the kind-hearted Runashi Tyuunosuke, and his boyfriend Stripey will be Yikaido Namato.”

“That’s amazing”, Gaku said. “I love that. Can I get autographs?”

“If you want to come to set for a day I’m sure we can arrange something.”

“Awesome.”

Tenn hadn’t said anything about the actors. “How do you even know them?”, Tenn asked. “We only watch TV together, and I’ve never even heard of them.”

“Yeah, but I bought a TV for the restaurant.”

“And you watch the kind of program where you then know an actor’s troupe.”

“Yes.”

“While making soba.”

“Yes.”

“Soba-TV.”

“No.”

“Soba-TV-Man.”

“Shut up.”

“Never.”

“I hate you.”

“Love you too.”

Miyako laughed. “I can see where Kenn and Yaku’s interactions are coming from”, she said. “Wonderful! You’re definitely needed here, we need to nail the characters.”

“Oh yeah”, Gaku had almost forgotten that they weren’t at home or in another private situation and bickering there. “Right. The movie. What other characters are there?”

“Well, now we have the other couples left. There’s Tyuunosuke-kun’s old roommates, Totsuba Yamaki and Sousaka Ougo. The café owner and the waiter, a married couple, Nokuya Ragi and Izuki.”

Right, Gaku remembered that. Shortly after they had gotten Yamato and Ryuu together, Nagi and Mitsuki had gotten married. It had been pretty sudden, but then again it really hadn’t. The two of them were practically attached at the hip, and while not being as bad as Momo and Yuki they made a perfect married couple. They had decided to put it into the book, as a way to get around the anonymisation of the Izumi brother’s names.

“…Kenn and Izuki’s brothers, Iomi Izuri and Ranase Niku, and lastly, the married couple Yoyo and Muki.”

“Right, now I remember”, Gaku said.

“And who will be playing them?”

“Another rather famous acting duo”, Miyako said. “Apropos:Adieu.”

She showed an image on screen. It was a pair of young men, who seemed oddly familiar, had they not worn obnoxious sunglasses that hid half their faces. Gaku and Tenn felt like they had seen them before. It just wouldn’t come to them, from where they should know them.

“Do you know these two too?”, Tenn asked in a whisper.

“No”, Gaku whispered back. “I don’t have _that_ much time to watch TV.”

“I’m glad, that means that you at least work a little.”

“Hey…”

“Heh.”

“Stop grinning like that you little shit.”

Tenn ignored him.

“As for the other characters, we casted a fantastic newbie actor, one who will blow everyone’s minds with his fantastic performance as _everyone else_.”

Gaku did a double take. “Wait a minute”, he said. “Did you just say ‘everyone else’?”

“Everyone else”, Miyako nodded.

“But that’s…”, he counted in his head. “Six characters. Of which all are lovers and appear together.”

“Don’t worry, he is formidable and can pull it off.”

“What is his name?”

“Oh, he only has an alias.”

“Then tell us that”, Tenn was curious now too.

“Very well”, Miyako said and switched the slide. A young man (six times the same one in different costumes, and also with those obnoxious big sunglasses in different colours) appeared on screen. Again, he seemed familiar. Maybe it was the green hair, or the lazy smile that screamed ‘bring Onii-san a beer, will you’, but _somehow_ Gaku and Tenn thought that they should know this guy.

“His name is ‘Yeeting Roomba’”, Miyako explained. “We thought it’d be perfect for the movie, as, you know, roombas play a very important role in your book.”

“’Yeeting Roomba’?”, Gaku snorted. “Oh god. Who came up with that…”

“I know who”, Tenn looked into the camera as if he was on the office. He was judging someone. Who could that be. Not me. Yamato came up with that name, for sure. You know how he is, fucking millennial. Always memeing.

Wait did I spoil that the guy was Yamato? Oh no. How terrible. How _very_ unfortunate.

“Well anyway. You said you wanted us approving the script?”

“Yes exactly!”, Miyako said, even though that really wasn’t what she had said initially, but to be honest, nobody cares about that. “We have a finished script already, but as you know, we aren’t very sure about it yet. So we’re trying to find what’s wrong with it. Please read it.”

She handed them a folder. It was less thick than Tenn would have expected. Maybe about 30 pages.

“How long is the movie going to be?”, he asked.

“About 90 minutes”, she said.

“I see”, he said. “Gaku come here, we’ll read.”

 

**Scene 1: Space Station ‘Cause’ High School Of Planet ‘Sevan Idols’. Dorms. Rain.**

 

“Wait a second”, Tenn said. “Before we read any further. Why is it in space?”

Miyako shrugged. “Everyone likes space, right?”

Tenn couldn’t argue with that.

“And why is it a high school? I thought this was about college.”

“Yes, but to make it more accessible to the youth we decided to change the setting a little. Don’t let that irritate you, the contents are still mostly the same.”

“…okay.”

 

 **Yaku:**                     Come on Kenn, we have to get to Tyuu’s room quickly. Before it starts pouring even  more.

 **Kenn:** No.

 **Yaku:**                    Why not?

 **Kenn:** I want to see you get drenched, so I can laugh at you.

 

“That does sound like you”, Gaku said.

“It doesn’t.”

“It totally does.”

“I’m not that mean.”

“What, are you saying you wouldn’t enjoy me getting drenched in the rain?”

Tenn thought for a moment.

“Hm, maybe it does sound like me.”

They skipped a few lines.

 

 **Tyuu:** What are you two doing here?

 **Kenn:** We’re going to help you confess to your crush.

 **Yaku:**                     Yeah! Because we know you fell in love with the resident high school transfer student  
                hottie at first sight! But honestly, who wouldn’t. Yikaido Namato is A Snack™.

 **Kenn:** Hey, _you_ didn’t fall for him.

 **Yaku:** Because I have you.

 **Kenn:** Aw.

 **Yaku:**                     Yeah, I’m just that great. I’d never fall for anyone but my boyfriend.

 **Tyuu:**                     Can you stop being domestic and cute on my doorstep and explain why you’re here?

 **Y &K:**                     Because of Pancakes.

 **Tyuu:**                    Oh I see.

 **Tyuu:**                     …

 **Tyuu:**                     Wait.

 **Tyuu:**                     That doesn’t explain anything.

 **Kenn:**                     It doesn’t have to. But we’re calling a meeting for Mission: Get Tyuu a boyfriend.”

 

Tenn frowned. “That’s not how I remember it.”

Gaku nodded. “It seems very… pared down.”

Miyako smiled at them warmly. “Of course”, she said. “It’s a movie. Not everything has to be spelled out for the viewer to understand.

“And the meeting will mean that they’ll create a plan then?”

“Exactly. Just keep reading.”

"Though I have to say... this format really doesn't work well with the mobile browser. And I don't know how it looks on PC. Author, why don't you edit it so it actually looks good? But then again", Tenn sighed. "This is Because of Pancakes. It doesn't really matter."

 

**Meeting room. Everyone but Yikaido Namato is there. There’s a whiteboard and Yaku and Kenn are in front, coordinating everyone. Tyuu looks uncomfortable, while the others are very relaxed. Niku is sitting in Izuri’s lap, Yoyo and Muki are flirting, Yamaki is being fed by Ougo, Ragi and Izuki are talking.**

**Kenn:** We’re going to ignore that Yi is not a Japanese syllable anymore, and will find a way  to make Yikaido Namato fall for Ryuu!

 **Yaku:** Yeah. And for that we need your help. We need your love stories to continue.

 **Ragi:** Our _stories_?

 **Kenn:** Yes.

 **Ragi:** _Oh_ … _Izuki_ and I don’t have a _story_ …

 **Yaku:** Why not? You’re married even, right? That’s pretty unusual in high school. There’s gotta be a story.

 **Izuki:** Ragi’s right, you know? We got married to stop him from being taken away to his  home planet.

 **Ragi:** _Exactly._

 

Tenn stopped reading. “What.”

“What”, Gaku said too, just as flatly.

“This is going to be explained in a flashback”, Miyako said. “Ragi and Izuki are high school boyfriends, and to stop Ragi’s family from taking him home to the planet of ice and sea, they got married on this planet. He acquired a citizenship through that, and that’s why he has the right to stay.”

“……………..what.”

“That doesn’t explain anything. And why is this in here.”

“We wanted to put a political dimension in there as well”, she explained. “Young people love politics.”

“I am a young people”, Tenn mumbled, “And I’m super tired of politics.”

“Mood”, Gaku said.

“Well whatever”, Miyako said. “They will explain that, and then Yaku and Kenn decide that the situation of being taken away is a very good base to realise feelings.”

“That might be true…”, Tenn was really not getting any of this. It had nothing to do with the actual book anymore. He didn’t know if he liked it.

“Moving on…”

 

 **Yaku:** What about you, Ougo?

 **Ougo:** Yamaki-kun confessed to me with music.

 **Kenn:**                    As expected of the two prodigies of the music faculty…

 **Ougo:** He serenaded me. A love song… it was beautiful.

 **Yaku:** Really? What instrument did he use? You’re known for being an allrounder, how  many instruments can you play again?

 **Yamaki:** All of them.

 **Yaku:** …all of them.

 **Yamaki:** Yup. But for Ou-chan I used a special one.

 **Kenn:** What instrument could be special enough for a love confession…?

 **Yam &O.:             **Kazoo.

 **Kenn:** You used… a kazoo?

 **Yamaki:** Yes. Kazoo.

 **Yaku:** A kazoo then. It worked out well, as far as I can see.

 **Ougo:** Definitely! I couldn’t be happier!

 

“This… was also different in the book.”

“It was less… wild.”

“Music is something beautiful”, Miyako protested. “We thought of including a part that is modelled after Broadway Musicals in the movie as well, but it seems there is no time for that.”

“That’s… too bad”, Gaku was losing more and more faith in this movie adaptation – if one could still call it an adaptation.

 

 **Kenn:** Niku, save us. How did you and Izuri come together?

 **Niku:** Kenn-nii, you ask funny questions. He asked me!

 **Izuri:** Indeed. Like normal people. We talked because we liked each other. Then we got together.

 **Kenn:** Who asked you, Izuri? I wanted to hear Niku speak.

 **Izuri:** Ugh, brocon.

 **Kenn:** You’re the brocon.

 **Izuri:** No you.

 **Kenn:** Fuck you.

 **Yaku:** Hey, stop. No fighting. You’re both a brocon.

 **Niku:** Haha, I’m happy Izuri and Kenn-nii get along so well.

 

“That’s kind of similar to the book at least”, Tenn sighed. He remembered that situation well. Him and Iori fighting, while Riku was obliviously thinking that they were getting along, and Gaku doing damage control.

“It’s your two relationship summarised in a few sentences.”

“Stop grinning so much, it ruins your face.”

“Stop being so mean, it ruins your personality.”

“At least I have redeeming features other than my face.”

“Oh shut up.”

Miyako laughed delightedly. “You two are a treasure”, she told them.

 

 **Kenn:** Yoyo and Muki, you two are our last chance.

 **Yoyo:** I sent my pet turtle to deliver a love letter!

 **Muki:** And my pet hedgehog ate it!

 

“Where do those pets come from?”, Tenn asked. “It was a cat in the book.”

“Well”, Miyako said. “Someone who has a lot of control over this fic- I mean, script, knows someone who likes hedgehogs and turtles, so they included that to make that person happy. It’s always like that, right? Screenwriters including little details to make people happy.”

“…maybe”, Tenn didn’t know enough about screenwriting to question that. Neither did the author actually, but nobody needed to know that. Whoops, now everyone reading this knew. Goddamn. How to stop this. Hello, one duct tape for the fourth wall please.

 

 **Kenn:** …then how did you actually get together?

 **Yaku:** Yeah, if your pets ate it, then how did you know?

 **Muki:** The hedgehog told me.

 **Yaku:** He told you.

 **Muki:** _She_ , excuse you, told me.

 **Yoyo:**                     [whispering] Trans Rights.

 **Muki:** She’s a sentient talking hedgehog. Who chose to work as my pet. The pay is excellent, and she gets free housing and food.

 **Kenn:** …okay.

 

Tenn didn’t want to continue reading anymore.

 

 **Yaku:** Okay, then that should be enough, I guess.

 **Kenn:** Don’t forget to include our own love story.

 **Yaku:** You mean the letter of challenge you sent me?

 **Kenn:** What a duel that was… I’m glad I won and got to pick my price~

 

“I’m a trophy now?!”, Gaku laughed. He was in disbelief. Someone had actually written this as a serious adaptation to the book based on a stupid few weeks in their lives.

“My precious trophy”, Tenn mumbled, hoping nobody would hear him. Of course Gaku did hear him.

“Aww, I love you too.”

“Come on, let’s keep reading”, Tenn said. “I want this to be over.”

 

 **Yaku:** Then let’s make a plan.

 

“Okay please stop reading now”, Miyako said. “I will summarize the plan for you.”

“Maybe that’s better”, Tenn said.

“Definitely better”, Gaku said.

“Stop agreeing with me, it’s creepy.”

“What? I agree with you a lot.”

“Not as much as today.”

“I don’t know how to disagree over this script.”

“…fair.”

“Okay, so the plan”, Miyako began. “They will put the two lovebirds into a situation where one of them, namely Tyuu, is ‘taken away’. They’ll borrow a spaceship for this, and will throw a big cage over Tyuu, to catch him. In his endeavour to rescue his love, Namato will be delivered a love letter in form of a song performed with a kazoo, which is played by a turtle. He will realise his feelings, and Tyuu will be left out of the cage, and fall into the arms of his love.”

Tenn nodded slowly. “I… remember this a little differently.”

“Well, it will turn out a little differently as well.”

“…okay.”

“Continue reading.”

 

 **Kenn:** Understood? Then everyone, to their positions. Especially you Tyuu.

 **Tyuu:** …okay.

 **Yaku:** Go get that roomba dick!

 **Kenn:** You could’ve said literally anything, _anything_ , else. Yet you chose to make me listen to that phrase. Why. Why am I alive. Existence is meaningless anyway. Maybe I was just alive to hear this line being uttered and then perish like the fool you are.

 **Tyuu:**                     I don’t think that’s true Kenn… But I also don’t like that I had to hear this just now. You know, maybe I don’t actually need your help in getting Namato to date me, maybe I can do it on my ow-

 **Kenn:**                   Don’t be ridiculous Tyuu, we know what’s best for you.

 **Yaku:**                     That’s what friends are for.

 **Kenn:**                   We know you better than you know yourself.

 **Tyuu:**                     …if you would just _listen_ for one second-

 **Yaku:**                    No need for that! Get the cage! Everyone on your positions.

 

Again Miyako interrupted them. “Then they carry out the plan. You don’t have to read it, quite honestly, action scenes in screenplay are hard to read. And a pain to write. Which is actually why it’s not in this fic. But you don’t need to know that. Just know that it will be… how do the youngsters say today…”

She produced a soundboard out of nowhere and pressed a button.

A bass boosted ‘EPIC’ came out of speakers on the wall that Gaku and Tenn hadn’t paid attention to previously. Too bad that they were set to full volume.

“Ouch…”, Tenn mumbled. “My poor eardrums.”

“What”, Gaku said flatly, his ears ringing. “I can’t hear you because I went deaf.”

“I said Gaku is a big doofus. Do you agree?”, Tenn had to use this opportunity.

“Oh yeah sure”, Gaku said.

Heh. Epic Victory Royale.

“Well, after the plan is a success, they find out –“

“–that they were a couple already all along”, Tenn completed her sentence. Gaku’s temporary deafness was fading already. “I remember that from my own book. Everything else not so much.”

“Correct”, she said. “Now please read the last page, and then tell us your feedback on what we could do better.”

Tenn already began to brace himself for the impact the without a doubt just as horrible last page would have, when Gaku, who had already looked at the page turned around to him with a blank look on his face.

He looked at the page as well.

In big Comic Sans letters it stated:

‘HAPPY APRIL FOOL’S DAY’

 

Eh.

What.

“What?”, they said in unison.

“Well, I guess it’s out now”, Miyako said. She smiled at them, a mischievous glint in her eyes. “Your friends hired me to prank you.”

“Which friends?”, Tenn knew already, but he wanted to make sure.

“I believe their names were Nikaido Yamato and Mister Yuki. But their significant other’s were involved as well. They are also on the photos of the actors that aren’t ‘Wildlife ParkL’. It was quite a lot of fun. Your faces were amazing. I’m sure your friends can’t wait to see the video.”

Gaku hid his face behind his palms. “So we’re basically on a private episode of hidden camera.”

“Precisely.”

“Gaku”, Tenn’s voice was grave.

“Tenn no, please. My heart can’t take any more.”

“Stop showing signs of weakness, you old man. Of course we’re gonna get back at them.”, Tenn looked directly into the camera, because of course he had immediately figured out where it was. Or maybe he hadn’t, and was just pretending to know. _Or maybe_ he was looking directly into your eyes. It was all possible. But _just maybe_ this time it was not the fourth wall he was breaking.

“We’re going to get you some pancakes, Nikaido Yamato.”

 

In a school far away from the office building where Gaku and Tenn were at the moment, a green haired bespectacled teacher sneezed.

“Oho”, he said. “I guess they found out.”

He was looking forward to this.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Happy April Fool's Day!
> 
> If you want to scream at me about anything you can do so on my [twitter](https://twitter.com/eins__kai) or [tumblr](https://einskai.tumblr.com/)~
> 
> Have a nice day!
> 
> \- Kai


End file.
